2023-06-22 | Reflection

 

Photo by Yeyo Salas on Unsplash

2023-06-22    08:27

5th Day of the Week

Daily reading:

Proverbs 30-31

Psalms 23

Proverbs 18

Acts 27

James 1:27

Daily writing:

Today, just before we get into the message of the day, I want to tell you; GOD wants a personal relationship with us. Don't let this world convince you that GOD is far off. He is near...

My son,

                The days are growing shorter; yea, the time is speeding up, for the sake of the elect. I have shown you My footsteps, follow in them. You do well in your efforts, but now, you must do even more. Watch your walk, keep strict discipline, for the sake of those that looks at you. Yea, remind them always of this: the sacred time in My presence. From here comes man's direction unto a righteous path. Challenge them to see for themselves, if I will meet with them, as I come to you.

Yes, Abraham was the father of faith and one day, you will meet him. Yea, the true believer will meet those I honoured in My Court. Yea, there is a feast waiting on all who overcomes. You ask, what must be overcome; don't you know by now? Or, do you ask that I state what you already know? I know the truth in all matters. But, for one to follow, he must be led. See what were the tasks i=of the disciples and the apostles. Learn that for your own knowledge too.

This is what you must overcome: Your own foolishness. Perhaps the word lands too hard, but to some, it will fit perfectly. You must overcome your own desires. Those of your own thinking, but also those planted in you by this world. Yes, consider once again the parables of the seeds, and of the lost son. See, in reading, if you will understand them better now. Man thinks that it is other people that makes their lives miserable; in part, it is true, but only through misdirection. The true enemy of the believer is he who convinced man of unbelief. Do you understand? Yea, who is your struggle against then? It is wise to start at home, look within your own self. What do you claim as rights, that may only be a privilege? Do you check all the blocks, that makes you deserving of such a privilege? Now grace is for all who can receive it. Yea, even unto salvation. But the proud refuses it. My grace is sufficient for you.

Always these contenders; yea, even now I see you. Those that cannot permit any righteousness. They stand against the progress of the soul unto salvation; yea, they wink with their eyes, but harbour hate in their hearts. Are you a mule? Are you a mule that carry forth dark forces? What possessed you to do the things that you do? Why do you stand in hate, when man is called to love his neighbour? Always, so many excuses to justify your behaviour. STOP! Investigate yourself, before another is afforded the opportunity to look at you as you have looked at others. Look for yourself in truth, if you approve of your own actions. How do you look then? Are you still clothed in glory of your own making? Dress yourself in a garment that cannot be ridiculed. A garment from which blemishes can quickly be removed. Woe still, to those that are all together uncovered, their nakedness on show. Yea, I speak not of earthly garments; when will you learn what covers your soul?

No! The struggle is not against flesh and blood, instead it is against dark desires. Your own, but also those planted within you. What do you do with an unsuitable field for sowing? Yea, you plough it over. Plough then your own heart and bring it ready for the seed of salvation. For without the seed, without cultivation; all the field is ready for is uncultivated seed of thorns and weeds. This then is the labour of your life, to prepare your fields and help in the fields of your neighbours. Help! Not obstruct.

Shalom

Introspection:

Look at the image at the head of this post again, please.

Is this image a visual representation of the state of your soul? Is your soul in disarray? Is the image in the mirror too hard to look at? The reason I ask these questions might surprise you, because I have part of my testimony ready for you. When I was in consult with the Holy Spirit, the testimony I am about to give was highlighted to me as the message for this day. First, I must admit again how often I get uncomfortable when the spotlight of GOD is on me. I don't want you to think that you are alone when you look at the... shall we say, more complicated bits of you. I am the same, a child of Adam.

You see, there was a time in my life when I could not see the brightness or even the colour in my life. I was lost in my own head, confused by my own thinking. In fact, it was so severe that people would look at me with pity. But that is not the only part of life I have lived. You see, I am not untalented; I am blessed (even before I came to my senses.) From my observations, I know that I am not alone in this. Now my heart is filled with compassion for those who feel as lost as I did. Because I was in that misery, I recognise it when I see it; even behind the mask of a smile. I do not poke the bear; I will wait until you are ready; or until the Holy Spirit poke me in the ribs.

Let me share with you, what is mine to share; for all of us know, we do not stand alone in our transgressions. I felt that I was done in by this world. As the first born of my family, the inheritance of those that came before me, did not come to me. Oh yes! I struggled, really struggled, and with that struggle came the usual suspects that loves misery. If it was not one thing that struck me down, it was another; even false accusations brought against me. God is my Judge. But I do not say these words without value. God is my Judge, and I was found wanting, yes, I fell short of the glory of GOD's expectation. I hated my life, even thought about ending it; but, when I was met with that option, I chose life. I cannot give a full testimony here, so in short, I faced death. Yes, I dipped my toe into the unknown, but was revived. Now, you would think that such an experience would set a person on the right path immediately; not me. Nope, I was still in pieces; there was no substance that could sustain me but the mercy of GOD. I struggled with depression, really bad; in fact, as bad as you can imagine. Though I made my vow to abstain from drink in 1996, I still had so much to learn.

It wasn't other people that came against me, (I suppose that is why the LORD wanted me to share this testimony) I only thought they were. My own mind was made up; and boy, did the enemy enforce that. To make a story of a lifetime, slightly shorter, I reached a point where I realised, "Hey, you better do something for yourself; nobody can live this life for you." Still the change was not immediate, see I am well versed in being hardheaded. The one thing I did right, (and I believe it was with the help of the Lord) I started focusing my ridicule inward; yes, I started calling myself out on my illusions (and by that I now know it was with the help of GOD.) But I had to be ready for that inner-confrontation, I had to look at the truth of me at once. See, I wanted more than I had; after all, I was born to be the head of my family in my generation, but instead, I was a foolish man that nobody took seriously. My tongue was untrustworthy. Yes, friends; I was full of selfishness, even though I convinced myself that I was the victim of my story. I was the problem; or for the sake of better understanding, the I (and/or eye) in me. My vision was obstructed by selfishness. Oh yes, it was all about me, I found out in the end.

For the first time, I could make sense of my depression, because it was simply a case of a spoiled child not getting his way. The world refused to see me with honour I thought was mine. I thought I deserved so much more than the cards that I have been dealt; can you start to see the problem? You see we identify these things in other people, but we cannot face the mirror in a like judgment. We refuse to look at ourselves harshly. We refuse to see the actual truth of ourselves, by painting it with a brush of justifications. When I saw myself as I truly was, boy was I ready to repent! I was the cause of my displeasure; nothing was good enough for me; and I could not find gratitude in me for the things that were blessings to me.  Needless to say, I lost even the little I had; yes, I hit rock bottom. At least I had this in the place of all I lost; I repented, and now the only way forward was up.

You would think with such a profound realisation, I could jump up and take on the world immediately. Nope, I told you, I am stubborn. I did build up myself from there, sure; in fact, I built myself up to high. And then I discovered pride in me. Oh, man! We are talking about years of foolishness here. You see, I took a new name unto myself, an alias, for the sake of privacy; and I built myself up as a photographer that received great honours. Yes, I told you I was stubborn, because this was selfishness on another level and under a whole new banner. The boy that was rejected all his life was now being honoured and respected, and I was lapping it up like a thirsty dog. A vain thing developed in me, a prideful thing. Let me tell you something, GOD was not done with me.

Then the World was put in lock-down, yes and I could not do that thing that people said, I am so good at. In the same year, even while we were still restricted, my mother taken ill and lost the strength to walk. Because of the pandemic, and then, having to take care of my mother; I had a bit more time on my hands than what I had before. If not for the pain my mother suffers, I would label it as comical, because the Lord gave me this...

            Exodus 20:4 (NIV) "“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below."

I can only think how unsavoury my pride was before the Lord. The Lord took me at the pinnacle of my achievements and instructed me to now be a servant to my mother, full-time. Yes, pride comes before the fall. But let me tell you, this has become the mastery of the Lord's Salvation. For I was heading, nowhere good. I will leave off here, because I do not have a book to expand from here. This is just a brief (very, very brief) account.

We are our own worst enemies, we are the sons of perdition, until we repent. But what man intended for evil, GOD used for good. That is my conclusion. I can trust the Lord's instruction more than I can trust my own thinking, that I know now for a fact. If you are anything like I was, you won't let this testimony affect you, you will continue after the desires of your own heart. And for that, I will be panic stricken on your behalf. See, I was caught in time, while salvation is still somewhat clear. But the times that are coming now, it will dilute everything into a strong delusion. If you are still sensible enough to sort things out right now, don't wait. All I will say here for now; is don't delay. Please, do not remain in your own type of foolishness; remove "the self" out of your way, so you can keep your eyes on our Saviour.

Shalom